It’s Not about Bathrooms

Some things I feel really strongly about. I haven’t been blogging much lately, but this is so much on my mind that I needed to write about it publicly. So I’m just going to put it all down here and hope maybe it changes a few people’s perspectives.

I posted the following  on a thread on Target’s FB page because people are threatening to boycott Target for refusing to bar transgender people from the bathrooms.

We mustn’t take away rights from the innocent because there are criminals in the world. People who identify as the opposite sex are not molesters. In fact, they are far more vulnerable to being molested or attacked than others–and need to feel safe when they use the bathroom. No one is checking genitalia at any of the bathrooms I’ve ever used and I feel perfectly safe–nor do I WANT someone checking to make sure our genitalia is what they want it to be. If you find someone peeping or molesting in a bathroom, by all means throw the law at that person (those things ARE illegal). But i see no reason to punish innocent people who just want to feel safe when they use the bathroom.

I’m just adding here, on my own blog, that people who are using the “a man will pretend to be a woman and rape girls in a bathroom” argument are being ridiculous. First of all, I’ve never heard of that happening. Second of all, a man who wants to molest women can pretend to be anything he wants, but that doesn’t mean you punish people who aren’t molesting women by taking away their rights. Barring trans women from women’s bathrooms because you’re worried about some mythical molester is the equivalent of telling little kids they can’t carry backpacks to school anymore because some terrorists carry bombs in backpacks.

But I don’t believe that the people who are up in arms about inclusive bathrooms are really scared about being molested, anymore than I think that people who object to gay marriage are really worried about “the sanctity of marriage” being abused or their “religious freedoms” being impinged upon. Nope. It’s just trying to find an excuse for their fundamental bigotry, intolerance, and xenophobia. I’m tired of the small-mindedness and I’m tired of the hypocrisy.

I am not the slightest bit afraid of someone with a penis peeing in the stall next to me. I’m terrified that someone who identifies as a woman will get beaten up if she uses the men’s bathroom.

And you should be too.

Please, go to Target’s page and thank them for being openminded and progressive. And shop there. They’ve been on the right side of history in so many ways.



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9 responses to “It’s Not about Bathrooms

  1. Great timing for this article. I just got into an argument with some woman on a relative’s Facebook over this. She admitted that she would have no problem using the bathroom with a transgender man that looks very masculine because underneath he has a vagina.

    Her comment proves this has nothing to do with the fear that men will dress in drag to access the woman’s room because they wouldn’t even have to–they could just walk in and say they are transgender men being forced to use the woman’s room by the law.

    For the record, I think she’s full of crap. If she walked in and saw a man she would freak out and not even worry if he had a penis or vagina. But then again, I don’t think she understands what being transgender means–all she can focus on is body parts and how she doesn’t want her granddaughter to ever see a penis. I had to tell her that transgender women aren’t going to be shaking it all over because they don’t even want to have a penis. The only way her granddaughter will see one is if she’s peeking through the door.


  2. Linda

    Well thought out; I, too ,have argued that if a Trans women is forced to share a BR with males, things could get much worse. Again, I say, I have no issues with WHOMEVER wishes to use my BR in my house, so why should I get upset at public restrooms. Make them all unisex, like we have in our homes!

  3. Don’t we all have unisex bathrooms in our homes anyway? I don’t understand how this even became an issue. Who checks who’s peeing next to them? It is another opportunity to discriminate against and marginalize individuals who already have an unfair burden of being true to themselves.

  4. I use these points in almost every argument. My aunt had said, “God made you female so you use the ladies room. If he made you male, you use the men’s room.” God also said women shouldn’t wear pants and divorce is a sin. I’ve seen you wear pants and you’ve been divorced twice. What’s your next argument?

    “Well it’s my right to be able to use the bathroom without a penis being in the same room.” Is it in the same stall with you? Can you tell if it’s a penis or (in my case) a very masculine-appearing woman due to a hormone imbalance? Maybe I’m wrong, but ain’t nobody died for that specific right. Transgenders have a right to feel safe.

    You sound like you want your comfortable bathroom environment to take precedence over someone’s safe bathroom environment. Putting transgender people in their own bathroom makes them easier to target for rapes and murders, which has a higher chance of happening than sexual predators pretending to be trans and preying on kids in a bathroom. But by all means, go ahead. Be a paranoid, hate filled shrew the rest of your life. Or mind your business and let people pee in peace.

  5. Barbara

    Excellent thinking Claire. The reasoning of those who fear the terrifying transgendered folks goes something “if we let “them people in, then next we’ll let tarantulas and baboons in. And then they’ll marry each other.” I’m off to announce my support for Target.

  6. Great point. But, I did go to a school that banned backpacks AND coats (at some point after I was out of school) because of kids bringing weapons like chains and pipes. The innocent always get punished for fear of the next criminal who comes along. Also I’m a transguy and I’ve never been feminine, and I have female relatives and friends who have never been too feminine either and it should be – like everything else – a woman’s choice what to do with her body including what to wear. And cis (biological) women are already getting kicked out of bathrooms for not being typical long hair & dress wearing, old fashioned 1800’s women!!

  7. Claire

    Yes, you do wonder whether they’re going to start legislating how women need to LOOK to use the bathroom. Ugh. It’s ridiculous. Criminalizing peeing is not the direction this country should be going on.

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